I often have mixed feelings on Memorial Day.

My father was a mechanic in the Navy in World War II. He did not die while serving. He died many years later at the age of 73, of cancer. I wondered whether his cancer could have possibly been caused by his exposure to toxins or radiation during his service.

I recognize and honor the service and sacrifice that so many have made for their country, for my country. I honor their spirit of service, and I honor the belief so many of them had that they were part of something important and larger than themselves.

Those feelings of patriotism and the honor of service are tinged with the knowledge that too many of our young people have been sacrificed for ignoble purpose.

Some have died due to failures of military intelligence, botched tactics, poor strategy, or failures of diplomacy. Though sad, these deaths seem an unavoidable part of the human drama that includes war, and still noble.

When the sacrifices of life and health really gets to me is where diplomacy wasn’t attempted, intelligent suppressed, or conflict started from the impulses of fear or greed. Too often we humans go to war for economic gain, for imperialist impulses, to settle a grudge, or to prove we are tough. These deaths are without purpose, a pathetic testament to our animal nature.

I pray for the powerful to reach for their highest integrity in every act. I hope for our leaders to realize how small our planet is, and how we are all the same, and how fighting and killing are misuse of our gifts. I pray for citizens to look within to see where their fear comes from, and to use their courage to face their primitive fear of “other” within their heart so our young people don’t have to face their fear of death on the battlefield.

Let’s hold our leaders and ourselves to a higher standard of humanity. A standard where we use the mind we’ve been blessed with to moderate our primitive selves.